Well, That's a Surprise.

Doctor: There's the head, she's head down, and her hand...
Josh: Is that her spine?
Doctor: Yes...and there's a leg. Everything looks good. Did you say they told you this is a girl?
Dalyn: Yes. WHY?
Doctor: Then what's that?
Dalyn: ...
Doctor: That looked like a penis and those look like testicles. Let's take another look. It could just be swollen labia...
Josh: Um, I've seen bathroom drawings less graphic than that.
Doctor: Well, I have 3 boys and I'm 99% sure that's a boy....I was really sad when my third wasn't a girl...But, well, what does that look like to you?
Dalyn: Really big balls.

Baby Crap: A Registry in Progress

UPDATE: Because this is an unconventional registry, tracking what gets bought is slightly problematic. Therefore, I've assigned a mediator. If you purchase something on the registry, please email Jo (see sidebar) to let her know and she will strike it off the list. Thanks. We're trying to maintain some kind of mystery around here...

So, for several months, I've been attempting to start registries at a couple different stores. Unsurprisingly, I have been overwhelmed and dismayed at the sheer amount of crap (in the sense of abundance and lack of quality) that seems to be part and parcel of this experience. Needless to say, that after one visit to BabiesRHell to look at a crib, I knew I couldn't register there. Target seemed like the next most viable and affordable option and I did manage to find some stuff, which you can see here. Yes, I picked out nearly every organic thing they carry, along with a couple of other necessities. But, after hours spent pouring over their website, I couldn't bring myself to add more stuff that I didn't really want and wouldn't use. Next, I even tried the local hipster baby store, Real Baby, whose stuff is cute but ludicrously expensive--no dice.

But, since loyalty has never been my strongest character trait anyway and--as we all know--I'm a picky bastard, I decided to largely forgo the store registry and come up with my own in the form of a blog. One of the advantages of working on a dissertation is that I have spent countless hours researching baby products, looking for the best deals, and drooling over products that are ridiculously cool and laughably wasteful. What I've compiled here is a list of those efforts (I'm not promising I've found the best prices on the internet and sales end, but it should be damn close).

While we've begun collecting things from thrift stores, craigslist, and sales, we still have relatively little as far as the basic baby props go. I've tried, whenever possible and reasonable, to pick out organic products or ones made from sustainable materials. While I'm well aware that we were all exposed to dangerous chemicals and a lack of seatbelts in our youth, Josh and I have managed to make out lives more and more sustainable despite my consumerist leanings and inherent dismay over used products (I don't even want to discuss the thoughts that go through my head when I think about composting and cloth diapering--I just put head down and do it...well, with the diapering I'm going to give it the old college try anyway). I'd like to continue such efforts even in the face of cuter-than-I-can-stand baby products.

So, without further ado, here is the (un)official Luedtke/Brown registry:

MEALTIME: We love food 'round these parts, so mealtime is first on the list.
1. I'm going to need all the help I can get in this department, so we'll see how helpful My Best Friend really is.
2. Somehow, it just ended up that Josh and I eat dinner together every night--at the table. So, we got a high chair that would allow us to continue the tradition together. But, since I'm worried the little bugger will ruin my table, I think we need the Skip Hop Mate.
3. A Modern Sippy Cup
4. God knows, I have enough kitchen equipment to make my own baby food, but I'm still smitten with this little all-in-one: Beaba Babycook.
5. Because you can never have too many snack choices: Snack Storage.

CRAP: The literal manifestation.
6. Faced with the choice of cloth or disposable, I was unpleased with both. Luckily, gdiapers are the one of the coolest new baby-related inventions and the covers work with cloth diapers too: Small 'little g' Pants, Medium 'little g' Pants, and Refills.
7. Infant 12 pack Unbleached DSQ Prefolded Diapers
8. Baby 12 pack Unbleached DSQ Prefolded Diapers
9. All in ones
10. Is it too early to be thinking about potty training? I think not.

FUN STUFF: Because girls just want to have fun.
11. You gotta love anything called a Blabla
12. The Boon Ladybug Pod
13. Night Lights
14. A giraffe to chew on.
15. A Piggy Bank
16. Because I wish this stuff came in my size.
17. The colors, the cut, the fun. If these dresses came in pregnant-size, I might buy one myself.
18. Baby leg warmers!

NECESSITIES
19. Aspen loved it. We'll see how it goes this time: A Plug!
20. A sooped-up umbrella stroller. We never used a stroller with Aspen, but I wasn't committed to public transportation in those days...
21. They may be forced to release inmates in California, but we have no such problems in Colorado: Baby Prison.
22. While fire retardant will never be organic, I still think the big hunk o' latex this kid is going to be (hopefully) sleeping her early months away on should be an Organic Crib Mattress.
23. Organic cotton sheets.
24. Awesome art in awesome colors.
25. A simple quilt for a little girl.

THE BIG ONE: For those who'd like to avoid baby shopping altogether...
We've purchased all the typical big ticket items like a crib and bookcases and what not, but the one thing we are still working on is a bike trailer. Since our bikes serve as our primary means of transportation (besides public transit), we're not pulling any punches here. Nothing but the best for our bikes (not surprising for a Luedtke, I know)! We've already got a line on one, but if you'd like to contribute to our quest for this beauty, we'd greatly appreciate it. Otherwise, this is our back-up plan:
Stay tuned for more baby buying (you know, baby stuff, not actual baby buying) extravaganza updates...

Still Alive and Kicking. Barely.

I'll admit it: I was feeling pretty proud of myself. Much like the last time I did this 13 years ago, this pregnancy was going as smooth as possible. I can't say I felt any different than I did when I was 20...until this week. Last weekend, I came down with a cold that I was sure was the worst ever had by any human being ever. Never mind the fact that the flu has killed bazillions of people throughout history, this seemed like it must be worse than all that. I felt like I got hit by a truck and then backed over once or twice. I ended up with heat rash across my chest, congestion, and an exploding head. Apparently, though, you can't actually have the flu unless you spike a fever, which I somehow managed to avoid even with chills and sweats. Who knew?

However, the cold--despite it's kick-ass nature--was a mere inconvenience. What's worse is that results of my glucose test from the previous week came in and it appeared that it was possible that I have gestational diabetes. WTF?!?!?!?!? So, after suffering from the cold, I managed to drag my sorry butt back to Kaiser for a more extensive diabetes screening on Thursday.

The 3 hour glucose test is the worst test I have ever taken in my life. SAT? Piece of cake. GRE? Did it in my sleep. Comps? Stressful, but no problem. Random drug tests? Pfft. 3 hour Glucose? I will never, ever put myself through that again.

The short version of it goes a little something like this: avoid food and water after midnight, head to lab at 8:00, 1st blood draw to establish fasting glucose, drink cup o' the sweetest, foulest most disgusting Sprite ever imagined, start sweating, feel nauseous, stumble to restroom to splash water on face, stumble into stall for worse, try not to throw up (throwing up means automatic repeat of test), assure random strangers in bathroom that you are not dying or in labor, stumble back to lab for 2nd blood draw, get stuck, roll eyes back in head as you mumble something like "I.I.I. think erjisuefnkjwn..", have 90 pound lab tech try to keep you from passing out on to the floor, move to 'baby room" for rest while lab calls nurse, pass out, mumble something to nurse about being "fine, fine, arghjabfieufb...,"wake up for 3rd blood draw, pass out in baby room again, wake up for final draw, and call neighbor who is lovely enough to pick you up with a steaming thermos full of minestrone soup.

Call me intuitive, but I figured my lousy reaction to some sugar water probably meant that I failed. This, however, concerned me less than I expected. I'm not sure I've ever failed a test in my life, so it does suck that this had to be the first. But, part of me was more exasperated than defeated. I mean, I've gained 14 pounds in 30 weeks; I walk a couple of miles everyday; and, my diet consists of 90% whole organic foods, not to mention being vegan which is suggested to curb diabetes. I'm not sure what else I could do. In fact, all this makes me wonder if my natural aversion to sweets isn't some kind of innate life-saving strategy my body has developed to help me make it through 33 years. Who knows what would've happened to me somewhere along the line if I actually liked chocolate or ice cream...

The good news is that I'm feeling a lot better than I was 2-3 days ago and I even managed to leave the house this weekend:

30 Weeks and Counting...

Middle Names Are a Bitch

While the name Juniper (which was originally suggested by Patty) came easily to us and seemed like a natural choice, the middle name has not come so easy. I suspect, in part, this is due to the fact that I don't have a middle name and they've always just seemed like unnecessary ornamentation to me. I mean, yes, Aspen got one anyway, but I worked with it by making her middle name Aspen and never, ever using her first name.

So, here's the conundrum. We decided to go with Brown because Juniper sounds marvelous with it (Luedtke's a tough name to match). However, using Brown effectively eliminates any one syllable middle names. The repetition of one syllable names sounds too truncated--like a shot gun. A misfired shotgun. For example, I really like Juniper Bell....but, Juniper Bell Brown is a nightmare. It also makes a three syllable middle name a mouthful. Juniper is long enough on its own. So, that leaves us with two syllable names that don't start with 'B' (too much alliteration) and aren't in any way a color or tree (she's already got one of each). And, really, imagine, if you will, Juniper Blue Brown. I've even played around with using both our last names but, if you put Brown in front of anything, it sounds like a description, not a name.

So, with that in mind, we've struggled to come up with something that works. In fact, we've even taken to randomly plugging street names in the middle of Juniper Brown as we pass by exit signs on our road trips. That hasn't worked either....

UPDATE: While writing this bitch session, Josh and I agreed on a middle name. Thus, it has been decided. Without further ado, her name shall be...

Juniper Paisley Brown

Just Your Average Rutabaga

25 weeks: Juniper is just your average rutabaga

One of the highlights to my week is getting the weekly email from babycenter.com. Sure, it's nice to know that the baby is normal and get tips on what kind of anxieties I should surely be experiencing (paint fumes, not gaining enough weight, gaining too much, decreased sex drive, names, unsupportive husbands, financial problems, etc.) and the obsessions that should haunt my dreams (finding the right crib, sleeping schedule, disciplinary strategy, daycare, preschool, college, etc.) as an expectant mom. But, believe it or not, I like these emails for two far more enjoyable reasons: the produce of the week and closer-to-human moments.

The produce of the week is really quite simple. Each week the email approximates how big/long/dense your baby should be by comparing it to something they assume most people can identify. This week, for instance, Juniper should be about the size of your average rutabaga. While the produce of the week is a helpful measuring stick, those folks at baby center often pick produce that isn't exactly easy to visualize. How big is a large heirloom tomato or a kumquat or a lychee? To make matters worse, their produce scale clearly hasn't been calibrated in quite some time. At 23 weeks, babycenter confidently stated that she should be about the size of a large mango, which seemed puzzling since the week before she was supposed to be about the size of a spaghetti squash. Granted, I have a natural aversion to spaghetti squash but I'm pretty sure they're a hell of a lot bigger than mangoes. So, I read on hoping for some clarification. Apparently, according to babycenter, a large mango is somewhere around 11 inches long and, while that explains the bigger-than-spaghetti squash evolution, I have to say that an 11 inch mango is not a large mango; it's a mango that's clearly been exposed to dangerous radioactive chemicals and is probably even plotting to take over Manhattan.

Almost as much fun as puzzling over the average size of various kinds of produce is reading about the developmental milestones of a fetus. I save the best of them for Patty, which undoubtedly adds to her discomfort with pregnancy in general. I was particularly proud when, at 8 weeks, Juniper finally lost her tail (having a tail would be convenient, although I still say that it makes it look difficult to ride a bike; at 10 weeks, Juniper could bend her limbs (I like to imagine that she was some kind of stiff-limbed Barbie floating around my uterus, unable to propel herself up to that point); at 12 weeks she, she began to look unquestionably human (an important milestone if I ever heard one); and, at 16 weeks, her eyes began to move closer to the front of her head (her peripheral vision will undoubtedly suffer).

Yes, these moments should remind me of the miracle of birth and human evolution, but mostly I just think it's weird and oh-so-awesome. And, undoubtedly, Juniper will end up being an adorable, human-looking (oh-so-blonde) bundle of joy, but, if she looks like an overgrown piece of produce, it's Josh's fault. I make lovely, beautiful children.

12 years, 9 months: Aspen is just your average almost-teen

I Like Girls.

My dad said I didn't need to worry--that we Luedtke's have girls--but, I wasn't sure about a certain wild card named Josh. Turns out he was right. On 12/18, we had the big ultrasound where they looked at every possible bump and discoloration while I squirmed on the table with a full bladder and an urgent need to know exactly what kinds of bumps we're really talking about here: girl bumps or boy bumps? Being the caring, selfless mother that I am, I'll first report that everything looked normal and good (spine inside the skin, check. cervix doing its job, check. four chambered heart, check.). And, despite having a technician who was in her second week on the job, I trust that those three lines we saw time and again were indeed girl bumps. Although they did tell us not to paint the nursery pink.

Other than that, this pregnancy has been so easy that there really hasn't been anything to report (much less talk endlessly about, as everyone wants to do). No sickness, no pains, no weird cravings, modest weight gain, etc. I've been trying valiantly to work on Juniper's room while I have the time off, but I seem to have a terrible case of indecisiveness--just like I did with Aspen. Cribs, also, are the bane of my existence which isn't helping the cause any. the ones I want are inevitably too expensive, out of stock, or discontinued. Maybe she'll just have to sleep in a drawer for a while, which would be fine if we even had a drawer to put her in.

Last, the middle name. So far, we got nothing. Aspen? Beckett? Vespa? Presta? Berry? Shmuck? I'm not entirely convinced anyone needs a middle name, much less a Juniper Brown, but we're working on it.

In the meantime, I'll try to drum up some kind of drama to report. Nothing serious. Maybe a little heartburn or some swollen ankles.

I'm Postive, It's Positive

I've been meaning to write this for the last few days, but I wanted to make sure that I was ready.

On Tuesday morning, I woke up when Josh got up and took a pregnancy test. When I came downstairs at 6:30 in the morning on one of my days off, he asked the obvious question: "What are you doing up so early?" In retrospect, he should've asked the really obvious question: "Are you pregnant?" Why else would I be wide awake so early on a Tuesday morning?

I responded: "I took a pregnancy test. I'm pregnant." Despite fleeting thoughts of doing something cute and charming to give him the news, I just blurted it out unceremoniously. I'm a terrible secret keeper. I got to see more of his half-chewed breakfast than usual that morning.

His response--"Oh"--was followed by a long silence and the sound of me preparing my morning bagel. Much to his credit, he asked, "Should we talk about this?" Of course we should, but after I said yes that we should talk about it, there was more silence. "What would you like to say?" I asked. In those first few moments, there wasn't a whole lot to say. We did go to coffee that morning and talk about it some, and we've continued to talk about it as the days go by, and while Josh was nervous and anxious and excited and afraid that he wouldn't live up to expectations the first day, I think he's getting more excited by the day. And here we are only 5-6 weeks in.

I called Kaiser later that day in a daze. The appointment is still 4 weeks out, which seems like an unnaturally long time. But, then, I'm really barely pregnant. And I don't feel pregnant. But all I can think about is being pregnant. I think that might mean that I'm excited, but I'm certainly nervous as well. I'm scared that I can't be the mother and partner I want to be; I'm scared I'm still too much that 20 year old who was unprepared to be a mom; I'm scared of losing me and Josh and Aspen...

Telling Aspen scares me and telling my parent makes me nearly as nervous. It's weird starting a family that is, in some ways, outside of MY family--I almost feel like I'm betraying us. But, despite weirdness and nervousness and anxiety, it also feels right. I never thought I'd have another child and I'm not ready to share Josh, but I'm excited to see the way this changes our relationship. I'm excited to be with him when he tells all those people he's eager to tell. I'm excited to see him be a dad and Aspen be a sibling and mom and dad be grandparents...

I've been distracted all week and got absolutely nothing done. I took another pregnancy test this morning. The response: "Yes, I'm positive, It’s positive."