Middle Names Are a Bitch

While the name Juniper (which was originally suggested by Patty) came easily to us and seemed like a natural choice, the middle name has not come so easy. I suspect, in part, this is due to the fact that I don't have a middle name and they've always just seemed like unnecessary ornamentation to me. I mean, yes, Aspen got one anyway, but I worked with it by making her middle name Aspen and never, ever using her first name.

So, here's the conundrum. We decided to go with Brown because Juniper sounds marvelous with it (Luedtke's a tough name to match). However, using Brown effectively eliminates any one syllable middle names. The repetition of one syllable names sounds too truncated--like a shot gun. A misfired shotgun. For example, I really like Juniper Bell....but, Juniper Bell Brown is a nightmare. It also makes a three syllable middle name a mouthful. Juniper is long enough on its own. So, that leaves us with two syllable names that don't start with 'B' (too much alliteration) and aren't in any way a color or tree (she's already got one of each). And, really, imagine, if you will, Juniper Blue Brown. I've even played around with using both our last names but, if you put Brown in front of anything, it sounds like a description, not a name.

So, with that in mind, we've struggled to come up with something that works. In fact, we've even taken to randomly plugging street names in the middle of Juniper Brown as we pass by exit signs on our road trips. That hasn't worked either....

UPDATE: While writing this bitch session, Josh and I agreed on a middle name. Thus, it has been decided. Without further ado, her name shall be...

Juniper Paisley Brown

Just Your Average Rutabaga

25 weeks: Juniper is just your average rutabaga

One of the highlights to my week is getting the weekly email from babycenter.com. Sure, it's nice to know that the baby is normal and get tips on what kind of anxieties I should surely be experiencing (paint fumes, not gaining enough weight, gaining too much, decreased sex drive, names, unsupportive husbands, financial problems, etc.) and the obsessions that should haunt my dreams (finding the right crib, sleeping schedule, disciplinary strategy, daycare, preschool, college, etc.) as an expectant mom. But, believe it or not, I like these emails for two far more enjoyable reasons: the produce of the week and closer-to-human moments.

The produce of the week is really quite simple. Each week the email approximates how big/long/dense your baby should be by comparing it to something they assume most people can identify. This week, for instance, Juniper should be about the size of your average rutabaga. While the produce of the week is a helpful measuring stick, those folks at baby center often pick produce that isn't exactly easy to visualize. How big is a large heirloom tomato or a kumquat or a lychee? To make matters worse, their produce scale clearly hasn't been calibrated in quite some time. At 23 weeks, babycenter confidently stated that she should be about the size of a large mango, which seemed puzzling since the week before she was supposed to be about the size of a spaghetti squash. Granted, I have a natural aversion to spaghetti squash but I'm pretty sure they're a hell of a lot bigger than mangoes. So, I read on hoping for some clarification. Apparently, according to babycenter, a large mango is somewhere around 11 inches long and, while that explains the bigger-than-spaghetti squash evolution, I have to say that an 11 inch mango is not a large mango; it's a mango that's clearly been exposed to dangerous radioactive chemicals and is probably even plotting to take over Manhattan.

Almost as much fun as puzzling over the average size of various kinds of produce is reading about the developmental milestones of a fetus. I save the best of them for Patty, which undoubtedly adds to her discomfort with pregnancy in general. I was particularly proud when, at 8 weeks, Juniper finally lost her tail (having a tail would be convenient, although I still say that it makes it look difficult to ride a bike; at 10 weeks, Juniper could bend her limbs (I like to imagine that she was some kind of stiff-limbed Barbie floating around my uterus, unable to propel herself up to that point); at 12 weeks she, she began to look unquestionably human (an important milestone if I ever heard one); and, at 16 weeks, her eyes began to move closer to the front of her head (her peripheral vision will undoubtedly suffer).

Yes, these moments should remind me of the miracle of birth and human evolution, but mostly I just think it's weird and oh-so-awesome. And, undoubtedly, Juniper will end up being an adorable, human-looking (oh-so-blonde) bundle of joy, but, if she looks like an overgrown piece of produce, it's Josh's fault. I make lovely, beautiful children.

12 years, 9 months: Aspen is just your average almost-teen

I Like Girls.

My dad said I didn't need to worry--that we Luedtke's have girls--but, I wasn't sure about a certain wild card named Josh. Turns out he was right. On 12/18, we had the big ultrasound where they looked at every possible bump and discoloration while I squirmed on the table with a full bladder and an urgent need to know exactly what kinds of bumps we're really talking about here: girl bumps or boy bumps? Being the caring, selfless mother that I am, I'll first report that everything looked normal and good (spine inside the skin, check. cervix doing its job, check. four chambered heart, check.). And, despite having a technician who was in her second week on the job, I trust that those three lines we saw time and again were indeed girl bumps. Although they did tell us not to paint the nursery pink.

Other than that, this pregnancy has been so easy that there really hasn't been anything to report (much less talk endlessly about, as everyone wants to do). No sickness, no pains, no weird cravings, modest weight gain, etc. I've been trying valiantly to work on Juniper's room while I have the time off, but I seem to have a terrible case of indecisiveness--just like I did with Aspen. Cribs, also, are the bane of my existence which isn't helping the cause any. the ones I want are inevitably too expensive, out of stock, or discontinued. Maybe she'll just have to sleep in a drawer for a while, which would be fine if we even had a drawer to put her in.

Last, the middle name. So far, we got nothing. Aspen? Beckett? Vespa? Presta? Berry? Shmuck? I'm not entirely convinced anyone needs a middle name, much less a Juniper Brown, but we're working on it.

In the meantime, I'll try to drum up some kind of drama to report. Nothing serious. Maybe a little heartburn or some swollen ankles.

I'm Postive, It's Positive

I've been meaning to write this for the last few days, but I wanted to make sure that I was ready.

On Tuesday morning, I woke up when Josh got up and took a pregnancy test. When I came downstairs at 6:30 in the morning on one of my days off, he asked the obvious question: "What are you doing up so early?" In retrospect, he should've asked the really obvious question: "Are you pregnant?" Why else would I be wide awake so early on a Tuesday morning?

I responded: "I took a pregnancy test. I'm pregnant." Despite fleeting thoughts of doing something cute and charming to give him the news, I just blurted it out unceremoniously. I'm a terrible secret keeper. I got to see more of his half-chewed breakfast than usual that morning.

His response--"Oh"--was followed by a long silence and the sound of me preparing my morning bagel. Much to his credit, he asked, "Should we talk about this?" Of course we should, but after I said yes that we should talk about it, there was more silence. "What would you like to say?" I asked. In those first few moments, there wasn't a whole lot to say. We did go to coffee that morning and talk about it some, and we've continued to talk about it as the days go by, and while Josh was nervous and anxious and excited and afraid that he wouldn't live up to expectations the first day, I think he's getting more excited by the day. And here we are only 5-6 weeks in.

I called Kaiser later that day in a daze. The appointment is still 4 weeks out, which seems like an unnaturally long time. But, then, I'm really barely pregnant. And I don't feel pregnant. But all I can think about is being pregnant. I think that might mean that I'm excited, but I'm certainly nervous as well. I'm scared that I can't be the mother and partner I want to be; I'm scared I'm still too much that 20 year old who was unprepared to be a mom; I'm scared of losing me and Josh and Aspen...

Telling Aspen scares me and telling my parent makes me nearly as nervous. It's weird starting a family that is, in some ways, outside of MY family--I almost feel like I'm betraying us. But, despite weirdness and nervousness and anxiety, it also feels right. I never thought I'd have another child and I'm not ready to share Josh, but I'm excited to see the way this changes our relationship. I'm excited to be with him when he tells all those people he's eager to tell. I'm excited to see him be a dad and Aspen be a sibling and mom and dad be grandparents...

I've been distracted all week and got absolutely nothing done. I took another pregnancy test this morning. The response: "Yes, I'm positive, It’s positive."

36. Eat one piece of fruit a day for 7 days

My original intent was to include some things on my list that would be easy to check off. Imagine my surprise when I realized that close to two weeks in, I've checked off exactly one thing. Some of these goals, like eating a piece of fruit a day, were meant to inspire a habit. While completing this task was easy, I know it's not going to become a habit. I did, however, discover something: I find fruit inconvenient, meaning that generally I can't really cook with it. However, it just so happened that we had Community Cycles over for a planning day the Sunday before last and we quartered a bunch of oranges as part of the breakfast. Most did not get eaten, so I ate them throughout the week in an effort to check off #36. Already cut up and on a big plate taking up space in the middle of my fridge, this task proved remarkably easy. It was convenient and most of the fruit I like--oranges, pineapple, mango--aren't.

So, if I were a nutritionist or health food magazine columnist, I'd tell me to plan ahead and prep fruit at the beginning of the week. It's a relatively simple change for someone whose diet is already pretty healthy. And perhaps that's what I most resent: the big changes don't apply to me. Those "10 things you can do for a healthier lifestyle or to lose 10 pounds" lists piss me off. Cut out sweets, do 20 minutes of exercise--even walking--a day, include veggies in every meal, cut back on saturated fats...uh-huh, no sweets at all, I ride my bike everywhere (Imagine my delight when I read about a guy in the NYTimes who decided to start riding the 2 miles--2 miles!!!--to work everyday and lost 15 pounds in 2 months), I don't eat saturated fats, and I eat vegetables in every meal--even breakfast. Everyday. Do I really have to worry about fruit too? Maybe I should adopt some (of those) bad habits so I can quit them and reap the benefits.

Or maybe I should just suck it up and eat some damn fruit--while I start thinking about the other 100 things I committed myself to.

35. Make at least One Recipe from Each Cookbook We Own

Thus begins a daunting task:

1080 Recipes-"Fried Garbanzo Beans"
Fresh from the Vegetarian Slowcooker-"French White Bean and Cabbage Soup" and "Almost Irish Stew"
How it All Vegan- "Sarah's Awesome Chili"
My Kitchen in Spain-"Fried Land Fish" and "Rice with Partridge"
Skinny Bitch in the Kitch-"Dream Bars"
Vegan with a Vengeance-"Tofu Ricotta" and "White Bean and Roasted Garlic Soup"
Yellow Rose Recipes-"Raw Corn Salsa," "Aloha Bread," "Spinach Chickpea Dip," and "Nacho Sauce"

101 Things in 1001 Days

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Click here for more information.

Start Date: 01 August 2008
End Date: 29 April 2011

Money:
1. Pay off credit cards
2. Save $5000
3. Get renter’s insurance (Completed 01.10)
4. (Re)Subscribe to the magazines I read (Completed 12.08)
5. Donate money to a charity (Completed 12.16.08)
6. Set up the direct deposit for the joint account (Completed 09.08)
7. Get my credit rating
8. Keep track of all the money I spend for a month (Completed 01.31.10)
9. Create a budget (Began 02.10)

Work/School:
10. Find a dissertation chair
11. Finish proposal (Completed 12.02.08)
12. Finish Dissertation
13. Rework 1150, including a daily schedule
14. Plan rhetorical criticism course, including a daily schedule (Completed 8.28.08)
15. Keep a teaching journal (at least one entry a week)
16. Clean and organize office
17. Write a teaching philosophy
18. Update CV (Completed 8.25.08)
19. Graduate!!!!
20. Create a website
21. Submit to flowTV
22. Read one new pedagogical article a month
23. Complete a national job search

Travel:
24. Go bike camping
25. Get a stamp in my passport
26. Visit another place in Colorado (outside the Denver area) (Completed 12.09)
27. Take one leisurely fun trip with Josh (for no other reason than to go somewhere)
28. Take a trip by train

Food:
29. Develop a vegan eclair
30. Make tamales (one attempt)
31. Make vegan apple fritters
32. Eat raw for one whole day
33. Try one new food I’ve never tried before (Completed 8.20.08)
34. Join a CSA
35. Make at least one recipe from each cookbook we own (Began 08.08)
36. Eat one piece of fruit a day for 7 days (Completed 8.09.10)
37. Live off the food in our cupboards/freezer for one week (no shopping at all)
38. Put together a cookzine

Health:
39. Take a daily multivitamin for 30 days (Completed 10.08)
40. Do a half-marathon
41. Set a PR in the Mud Run
42. Run the Bolder Boulder
43. Run 3 times a week for 6 months
44. Run a 7:30 mile
45. Join a softball team
46. Lose 7 pounds
47. Lose 10 pounds (Completed 06.09)
48. Get a full physical—blood work and all
49. Cut alcohol consumption by half (Completed 10.08)
50. Get my eyes checked
51. Get my teeth cleaned twice a year

House:
52. Paint the main floor (Began 09.08)
53. Organize the library
54. Organize the pantry (Completed 02.15.10)
55. Go through kitchen, get rid of old/broken items, and make a list of things we need to replace
56. Get rid of (donate/craigslist/ebay) 100 things (7/100)
57. Transplant the mint (FAIL)
58. Reupholster the couch
59. Refinish the coffee table
60. Replant the cat grass
61. Make a piece of art for the house
62. Set up my dartboard (Completed 8.19.08)
63. Plant a garden (Completed Summer 09)

Movies/TV/Books:
64. Watch the movies on my DVR (the ones I recorded from TCM in March) (Replaced DVR 03/09)
65. Watch every movie that won a “Best Picture” Oscar
66. Watch season 1 of Heroes (Completed 12.08)
67. Read 5 books I own, but haven’t read: The Bachman books, Perdido Street Station,
68. Get rid of all the duplicate books we have
69. Read Haunted (Completed 8.20.08)

Random Activities:
70. See all the Charles Haertling houses in Boulder
71. Go to the Denver Modernism Show (Completed 8.18.08)
72. See an opera
73. See Wicked
74. Go snowshoeing
75. Go tubing on Boulder Creek
76. Establish a monthly poker game (Tried 10/08 and 11/08. Failed)
77. Walk the length of the slackline
78. Spa appointment—must include a facial and massage
79. Do a 14’er
80. Try a new sport
81. Try yoga one more time

Bicycling:
82. Upgrade the components on my bike—by myself
83. Learn how to ride a unicycle
84. Do one long ride a month (40+ miles)
85. Clean my bike once a month

Computing:
86. Download the spellcheck for Word (damn MS!) (Completed 02.10)
87. Update address book
88. Put birthdays into calendar with reminders

Photography:
89. Take another class at Mike’s
90. Learn how to use my camera manually
91. Frame one picture I took
92. Get a picture of Pasha with her eyes open—a good picture (Completed 05.16.09)
93. Complete Project 365: A Photo A Day

Personal:
94. Finish the short story
95. Try to get said story published
96. Get a new tattoo (Begun 12/09)
97. Build something...don’t know what, but something.
98. Write a letter/postcard once a month
99. Dress up for Halloween (Completed 10.31.09)
100. Allow someone to take a picture of me in my bathing suit
101. Make a new list of 101 things